Wednesday, October 10, 2012

As box-opening simulators go, Borderlands 2 is one of them.

I opened boxes in borderlands 2 until i remebered that i don't play Farmville and that IF i don't play Farmville, I probably shouldn't open boxes in Borderlands 2. You also shoot at enemies in Borderlands 2, and shooting in Borderlands 2 doesn't feel that diferent from opening boxes in Borderlands 2.
I have shot at enemies in several games (games that present you with enemies) and i found that a lot of games are more pleaseant in the act of shooting enemies (when they present you with enemies) then Borderlands 2.

There are games that will ALLOW you to shoot enemies in interesting and varied ways and those same games will be ABLE to deal with the fact that you shot an enemy in a varied and interesting way. Borderlands 2 does no such thing. Borderlands 2 presents you with enemies when it's convinient for Borderlands 2 own lazyness. Enemies will emerge from black holes ONLY when Borderlands 2 lazyness finds it convenient for enemies to emerge from said black holes(enemies literally emerge from black holes, black holes ocasionally covered with drapes). A Laziness that blocks shots with invible walls. A lazyness that turns sniping into box-opening.

Lazyness is box-opening, box-opening is work, there for lazyness is work.

There are absurd amounts of weapons in Borderlands 2 , most of them useless and most of the weapons in borderlands 2 are useless because the game is not good enough to make them useful. Borderlands 2 cannot deal with useful weapons.

A more exotic weapon in Borderlands 2 will simply cause extra damage or might cause extra damage, what the game calls an elemental damage.
In fact extra damage is what all guns do when they can't make TOTAL damage. A game that presents extra damage the way Borderlands 2 presents serves to remind us, that guns in video games don't cause bleeding. That a bullet in video games does not endure in a body.

There are very little usefull weapons in Borderlands 2(at least for the five hours i played). In Borderlands 2 most weapons are simply junk.
You mostly spend your time on Borderlands 2 opening boxes (unboxing) and collecting junk (junk-collecting), after junk-collecting, one can either discard that junk or sell that junk for money and clear space for more junk.

As junk-collecting simulators go, Borderlands 2 is one of them.

You have to search for hours to find a good gun in Borderlands 2, yet that gun, even after hours of searching won't turn out particullary good.
There are games out there that at the very begining of the game give you an awesome weapon and then allow you to have fun in a challenging way with said weapon. In Borderlands 2 they give you a bad weapon and then allow you to continue in search for better weapons ad eternum.

Borderlands 2 makes you repeat a mission in the form of a side-quest (all bosses you previously killed are there too, but easier) just to deliver a bad joke at the end.

Borderlands 2 is the game with no REWARDS. No rewards by playing it, no rewards in the way you play it, no rewards by having played it. Yet Borderlands 2 makes itself appear like the game with all REWARDS.

You might be inclined to think while playing Borderlands 2 that YOU should kill yourself and that YOU should kill yourself because YOU just spent hours opening boxes and collecting junk.
You might also feel, after playing Borderlands 2 for hours, that YOU love life, so much in fact, that even spending hours box-opening-junk-collecting in Borderlands 2 did not indeed break your will to breath.

You can be exposed to the VOID while playing Borderlands 2, to the very thing that humans fear the most, to lack of meaning, to the de facto reallity.
You also might feel that, given the conditions of our society, Borderlands 2 might just be the only thing that makes sense to play, to perform, in your existance.
you might also be a silly hipster.

I played Borderlands 2 as i played borderlands before and am now absolutely sure that i don't like Borderlands

Borderlands 2 feeds on the notion that the path is more important then the goal: That the very basic drive in life is to PERSUE something.
Or at least feeds on the very basic capitalistic notion that it is indeed nice to accomulate shit.

But why does it have to be so damn crappy ?

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